Tag Archives: Dr. Michael Rutter

Be Brave

28 Saturday Jun 2014

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Early this morning I found myself sitting on the edge of Iris’ bed. She was sleeping peacefully .. probably dreaming about our recent trip to Disneyland and Palos Verdes. As I stared at her, my thoughts cycled through a mental scrapbook of the past year.

One year ago today, Iris underwent open heart surgery and tracheal reconstruction. Every minute of that day is as vivid as if it were happening again in real-time. I remember kissing Solana goodbye as we left for the hospital, and she excitedly prepared to head to camp with our nanny. I can see the faces of the people on the tram that morning as they headed up the hill to work. They looked tired, and curious about the little girl joining them that morning. I can feel the tram gently swaying back and forth .. I actually paced my breathing to that rhythm. I can hear the voices of Dr. Langley and Dr. Rutter. Who would’ve thought that a doctor from England (Langley), and a doctor from New Zealand (Rutter) would be operating on a little girl from China .. in Portland. They calmly, and confidently, answered my last-minute questions. Between the range of emotions, that I had little control over, and my garbled speech, I’m surprised they understood a word that I said. But they did, and they continued to reassure me.

I remember Iris’ face. So innocent and unaffected by what was happening around her. I felt guilty. Guilty that I was unable to explain to her what was about to happen. Guilty that her pure, sweet, little body was about to undergo a dramatic incision, and that the next several days, weeks, and months would present challenges no four-year-old should experience.

But along with that guilt, was the awareness of Iris’ brave spirit. Every step of the way throughout this journey, she has shown me, and everyone around her, what it means to be brave in the face of the unknown. June 28, 2013 was no different. And each day since .. Iris has continued to demonstrate how to live a brave life.

Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.

I left Iris’ room this morning, and went to meditate. It’s a practice I’ve done for many years as a way to center myself as I begin my day .. and as I’ve done for the past year, I finished my meditation with these two words:

Be brave.

Here’s Iris last week at Disneyland: (with our motto on her shirt)

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.. and the three of us in Palos Verdes:

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Have a wonderful summer!

Love and Hugs,
The Hickey Girls

Giving Thanks

28 Thursday Nov 2013

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Today marks the 5 month anniversary of Iris’ surgery and the 10 month anniversary of the day she was united with Solana and I. It’s been a crazy whirlwind but I wouldn’t trade these 10 months for anything.

As I count my blessings today, I’m thankful for the love and support of family and friends, His guidance through this challenging and remarkable year, Solana’s compassionate and loving soul, the amazing doctors (Stephen Langley, Michael Rutter – Cincinnati Children’s, Henry Milczuk and Laurie Armsby) who did what they do best and, in the process, gave Iris not a new life … but a better life. And of course, Iris … my little warrior.

We wish you all a wonderful Thanksgiving.

Here’s a glimpse into our journey over the past 10 months:

https://vimeo.com/80636716

4 Weeks

26 Friday Jul 2013

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It’s hard to believe that 4 weeks ago I was sitting with Iris in ICU as she was waking from surgery.

The day began with a tram ride up to Doernbecher at 5:30am. There were only 4 other people on the tram with us that morning and they all worked at Doernbecher/OHSU. They looked adoringly at Iris, with no clue that this little girl was on her way up the hill to have open heart surgery.

We checked in at the lobby, received our bracelets and proceeded up to the surgery waiting area. It was empty and quiet. So quiet. Iris was called back to the surgery prep area within minutes and that began a procession of nurses and doctors stopping by to get her ready. Dr. Langley and Dr. Rutter stopped by to say hello and address last minute questions. And then Dr. Kelly Ryan came by. Kelly is an anesthesiologist and she comes highly recommended. She explained that her primary job is to ensure that Iris is comfortable and safe throughout surgery. Kelly discussed the medications she’d be using and gave me a good overview of how they impact the body. She then asked if I had any questions or concerns. I responded, “just keep her comfortable and safe.” That’s all I wanted.

When your child is taken back to surgery at Doernbecher, you are allowed to walk with them to the “orange line.” Kelly walked with us. I remember approaching that line and feeling my knees buckle beneath me. It is a moment, as a parent, of complete vulnerability. Handing your child, and your trust, over to another person. I gave Iris a hug and told her that I love her. I then glanced up at Kelly and, without saying a word, she looked into my eyes and ever so slightly nodded her head. A gesture that was, at once, both subtle and powerful. All I could see was compassion and confidence. Kelly knew exactly what I was feeling, and the look in her eyes provided me with more comfort than any words could.

I turned to walk away. The walk back seemed like a mile. Tears streaming down my cheeks. Legs failing me. It was the complete loss of control over my emotions. I walked into the waiting room sobbing loudly. My sister and niece immediately embraced me and we started walking down the hall so I could catch my breath.

When I finally did, I pictured Kelly Ryan’s face. And I knew … Iris would be comfortable. And safe.

I’m thankful every day for Iris’ amazing team: Dr. Stephen Langley, Dr. Micheal Rutter, Dr. Henry Milczuk, Dr. Laurie Armsby, and Dr. Kelly Ryan.

Iris continues to improve. She saw Dr. Armsby this week and received another good report. Her chest x-ray looks great. Her ultrasound is scheduled for the end of August and her next procedure, to potentially put a stent in her pulmonary artery, will be in a few months.

Until then .. we’re enjoying the sunshine, and counting our blessings at every opportunity.

This is Iris today .. showing me her “heart”:

Irisheart1

Home

03 Wednesday Jul 2013

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It’s difficult to find any words right now because this moment is truly unbelievable.

Iris was discharged from Doernbecher today and is home. Yes, 5 days after undergoing MAJOR surgery involving her heart and airway .. she is home.

Iris has a long recovery in front of her, but her surgery was successful and she’s doing amazingly well. We came home with a handful of prescriptions, and she needs to wear a humidified air mask for a few weeks while her trachea is healing. There will be plenty of follow-up appointments and potentially another procedure in a few months .. but she’s well on the road to recovery.

I have so much gratitude for the team that made this day possible: Dr. Stephen Langley, Dr. Michael Rutter, Dr. Henry Milczuk and Dr. Laurie Armsby. They are brilliant doctors, and incredibly compassionate human beings. My daughter’s health .. and honestly, her life .. could not have been in better hands. Between their expertise, His guidance, and Iris’ brave spirit .. she will have the chance to run, play, dance and explore all of life’s wonder.

Here’s my tiny, but mighty, daughter .. ready to go home!
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24 Hours

29 Saturday Jun 2013

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Twenty-four hours ago they wheeled Iris back to surgery. Dr. Stephen Langley performed two repairs on her heart (closing her ASD and repairing her pulmonary sling) and Dr. Michael Rutter, from Cincinnati Children’s Hospital, reconstructed her airway. As they told me afterwards, it could not have gone any better. It was a huge surgery, but it went smoothly and with no surprises. The wonderful nurses that were in the operating room called me throughout her surgery to update me. Those calls were a reassuring lifeline to my daughter.

She’s in ICU now and will be here for a few days. Nothing can really prepare you to see your child with more tubes and lines connected to them than seems imaginable. I found comfort in knowing that this is part of the process and, more importantly, part of her healing. In the coming days .. little by little .. those lines and tubes will slowly begin to come off. She had a rough night last night battling pain and fever but I know better days are ahead. She’s a little warrior and she’s strong.

Her surgery is described as life-altering. Dr. Langley told me that she’s going to be completely different, physically, when she recovers. As difficult as yesterday was, it was also an amazing blessing.

There are no words to express my thanks to Dr. Langley and Dr. Rutter. They are the best in their fields and they have given my daughter the chance to have a long, healthy life.

IrisICU

Here We Go

21 Friday Jun 2013

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Here we go.

Iris’ surgery is scheduled for next week at Doernbecher.  Dr. Rutter is coming out from Cincinnati to perform her airway reconstruction, along with Dr. Milczuk, and Dr. Langley will repair her heart.  They estimate she will be in the hospital 10 days to two weeks and then we’ll return home for the remainder of her recovery.

So many thoughts and emotions run through me each day, but mostly I find myself feeling thankful.  Thankful to Iris’ biological parents.  Thankful for the day Iris came into our lives.  Thankful for the abundant joy my daughters fill my heart with.  Thankful for Solana’s compassion throughout this journey.  Thankful for the wonderful doctors that care for Iris.  Thankful for the support of family and friends.  Thankful for the comfort I have found in my faith.

So we enter the biggest challenge of our lives … and I am reminded;  kites rise highest against the wind.

Soar my little warrior … soar.

Thank you for your continued prayers.

A Very Good Day

24 Friday May 2013

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Remember Iris’ cardiologist, Dr. Armsby, telling me that there will be some bad days … but there will be good days too?  Wednesday was a very good day.

I received a call from Dr. Milczuk, Iris’ otolaryngologist.  Her team of doctors had met once more to discuss her case and they felt that we had two options for her surgery:  1) We could travel to Cincinnati.  Dr. Michael Rutter at Cincinnati Children’s Hospital has more experience with Iris’ type of airway reconstruction than anyone else in the U.S.  So her heart repair and airway reconstruction would happen there.  Cincinnati Children’s is a wonderful hospital and she would be in very good hands …. Or, 2) Dr. Rutter offered to come to Doernbecher  … Dr. Rutter offered to come to Doernbecher!

I managed to ask questions regarding the benefits of each option … but honestly, one of my prayers had been answered.  We will be at home and Iris will have her surgery in a hospital that is familiar to us.  Dr. Langley will repair her heart and Dr. Rutter will perform her airway reconstruction.

The surgery hasn’t changed, but some of the outside stresses have been eliminated (travel, housing, etc).  I would’ve traveled anywhere to give my daughter the best possible care … as it turns out, thanks to the willingness of Dr. Rutter, that place is a tram ride away.

We don’t know the timing yet.  Dr. Rutter’s schedule will dictate that.  But for now, we’re thankful for this very good day!

Here’s a picture of Iris taken a few days ago in Dr. Armsby’s office, and another one after her bronchoscopy a few weeks ago.  Doernbecher represents a wide range of things to me … but to Iris, it is a place with games, fish, popsicles and really nice doctors.  As it should be.

IrisDoernbecher1 IrisDoernbecher2