Life isn’t a matter of milestones, but of moments

Today is the first day of kindergarten for Iris. A magical milestone in a child’s mind.  In my mind, though, it is a moment. A moment to be present, and take it all in .. like the countless moments, big and small, that fill each day.

I watched her walk into her new class this morning with excitement and curiosity in her eyes, and I couldn’t help but reflect on what she has been through. This day .. this moment .. was not a certainty for her, or us. And the journey that brought us here is defined by love, trust, and a remarkable man.

When you’re matched with a child from the China Waiting Child Program (children with medical conditions), you have 72 hours to review their file. This time becomes a frantic, emotional race to review the child’s medical files, connect with specialists, and understand short and long-term health challenges .. all in an effort to make the most informed decision for your family, and the child.

When I was matched with Cheng Chun (Iris), there was an added complication because I was not familiar with her specific congenital heart defect. My adoption agency gave me a list of specialists that regularly review medical files, and I also reached out to my local contacts. Over the next 72 hours, I had lengthy conversations with four doctors, and received opinions that teetered between unfavorable, and frightening. I had a huge pit in my stomach as I tried to process the severity of Cheng Chun’s condition, the complexity and risks of surgery, her long-term prognosis, and the impact to Solana. I had a few more phone calls to make, and next on my list was Dr. Mark Reller, head of cardiology at Doernbecher. I told Dr. Reller about the opinions I received, and my fears. Dr. Reller’s opinion was dramatically different from the others, and he optimistically said, “You need to call Dr. Stephen Langley. He has successfully performed this surgery with great outcomes.”

Hope.

Dr. Langley and I connected less than an hour before I needed to give an answer to my adoption agency. Dr. Langley walked me through the surgery, recovery, short-term challenges, and long-term prognosis. His next statement is forever imprinted in my mind; “If you adopt this little girl and I perform her surgery, I will do everything in my medical power to give her the best chance for a long, healthy life.” I still can’t say, or write, those words without tearing up. I had only met Dr. Langley once briefly, but I was well aware of his reputation and integrity, and I knew he wouldn’t make that statement unless he was confident that he could fulfill it. So I believed him. With every part of my being .. I believed him.

I hung up the phone with Dr. Langley, called my adoption agency and said, “Yes!”

That was April 2012.

On January 28^th, 2013, Solana and I were united with Iris in Hefei, China. In the coming weeks I learned that Iris’ condition was even more serious because of the malformation of her trachea, but Dr. Langley had planted a seed of trust, and although I was scared, I knew Iris was in the best hands possible. On June 28th, 2013 the promise within Dr. Langley’s words was fulfilled as he and Dr. Michael Rutter (the amazing otolaryngologist from Cincinnati Children’s Hospital) worked side by side, seamlessly, to repair Iris’ heart and reconstruct her trachea.

On that day, Dr. Langley not only repaired Iris’ heart .. he expanded mine.  Exponentially.

Last week I had the pleasure of attending a reception for Dr. Langley. A large group of colleagues, friends, and patient families gathered to celebrate this brilliant surgeon. As I listened to toast after toast, several words and phrases echoed around the room: Integrity. Team Player. Trust.  Compassion. Respect. Admiration. Gratitude. It appears that Dr. Langley has not only played a huge role in our lives, but the same was true for everyone else in the room.

So on this first day of the school year, I’m overflowing with pride and excitement for my daughters, and I’m thankful for Dr. Langley. He, indeed, gave Iris the best chance for a long, healthy life .. and he has given my family the best reason to celebrate, and cherish, the moments.

Here’s a photo of Iris and Solana with Dr. Langley at his reception last week:

… and a photo of Iris and Solana as they headed to The International School this morning:

Love and hugs,

The Hickey Girls